What Has The Internet Done To Boys?
Photo by Kelly Sikkema
Working with boys is at the heart of what we do.
We didn’t let a pandemic stand in our way of connecting with youth and instead built a space for boys & masc-identifying youth to ride it out together.
Since starting NGM Boys Club on Discord two years ago, boys have shown their courage in epic Minecraft campaigns, their curiosity when trying a new activity like baking with our facilitators through a screen, their empathy in building new friendships with boys they’d never met IRL (‘in real life’ for all the old people), as well their bravery to reach out for support when they or others in NGM Boys Club needed it.
And let’s be clear: the internet is where they’re looking for support.
The pandemic disrupted the next generation’s long-standing support system of teachers, coaches, friends, and family making them adapt to a new normal. Youth’s usage and relationship with the internet have irrevocably changed how they navigate stress, culture, identity, friendships, and wellbeing.
And we cannot effectively engage with boys and create long-lasting transformation change if we choose not to meet them where they are—online.
The internet has been there for boys when society hasn’t.
There are not many safe spaces that exist for boys, where they are met with both empathy and accountability.
And for a lot of boys, the internet has been that space.
For as long as it has existed, the internet has always been a staple for youth to connect with friends, find entertainment, explore communities and find information (for better or worse). But the pandemic turned that staple into a necessity.
There has been a 17% increase in screen media use for teens since the start of the pandemic. That is a much faster increase in just two years than seen in the previous four.
Across the pandemic the total amount of screen media used each day went from 7 hours and 22 minutes to 8 hours 39 minutes among teens (from Common Sense Media)
Boys are spending more time online than others—on average, 75 minutes more a day compared to girls.
With over a third of their day spent online, it has become clear that, for better or worse, the internet is one of their primary sources of entertainment, information and connection.
Is boys’ internet usage a good or bad thing?
Many parents and educators are concerned about the (frankly alarming) amount of time youth spend online and what that is doing to their well-being. If we’re honest, it has been a barrier to some parents supporting their boys in joining NGM Boys Club.
It is no mystery that the internet is often a slippery slope into extremism with platforms’ algorithms feeding boys and young men sexist content and exacerbating boys’ insecurities with messages of limited ideas of masculinity.
But that is only one (albeit very scary) side of the internet. The truth of the internet’s positive or negative impact is pretty murky. Take, for example, youth socialization.
On the one hand, expert’s have argued that youth’s replacing in-person interactions with time online leaves them with one-tenth of the expertise in solving social issues, living together, coexisting in productive ways without conflict.
On the other hand, youth have often reported that social media and other online platforms help them connect better with their friends and support networks. For example, over half of youth say that they like playing video games because it allows them to play with their friends.
This tension between what we speculate is happening with youth versus what youth think has led us to our next project: The Status of Boys Report
We need to learn with and from boys, not just about them.
Are boys concerned about spending too much time online?
What is the most negative impact the internet has had on boys’ lives?
What are their top sources of stress straddling the online and the in-person as we straddle the two in our re-emergence?
To find out the truth about the current status of boys and their relationship with the internet, we need to work with boys to learn.
We aim to combine the information we learn in the survey with emergent research and expert interviews into the Status of Boys Report in the fall of 2022 to be shared among people passionate about supporting boys: parents, educators, youth workers, and those with a vested interest in knowing how the next generation of men sees, acts, and thinks about all things masculinity.