Teaching Youth to Support Without Sacrificing Themselves
© Next Gen Men 2019
By Jonathon Reed
A young teen that I know is struggling with his mental health, and has a meeting with a guidance counsellor next week to talk about switching math classes. “What’s holding you back form talking about more than just math?” I asked him.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I just don’t trust them. I know they go to parents and say stuff.”
It didn’t occur to me until a couple hours later to suggest a helpline. The ones that we usually recommend in our programming about mental health are Kids Help Phone, as well as YouthLine for LGBTQ+ youth and Naseeha for Muslim youth. Most helplines these days have phone, texting and online chat options. These options are particularly important for boys because they take away a bit of the embarrassment about asking for help or confiding in someone because they’re anonymous and confidential. For all young people, they can be a good place to start.
Despite his reluctance to talk to an adult, that young teen has gotten support from his friends—a trend that I’ve seen countless times in the young people that I work with. One of my favourite educators recently wrote an article that gives concrete strategies for acknowledging this element of young people’s friendships but also helping them maintain boundaries and self-care:
Applaud them for taking small steps
Honor their need for autonomy
Connect the dots through stories
Brainstorm solutions together
Challenge gender stereotypes
Mention when they’re out of their depth
Teach them to spot emotion contagion
Take some time to read the whole article and reflect on how you could put it into practice in your classroom or with your children.
ICYMI This Week
“I am a boy and I am a feminist” (The Hindu)
We need to redefine manhood. Our warped ideas are causing a mental health crisis (The Guardian)
Will We Ever Figure Out How to Talk to Boys About Sex? (The New York Times)
Written by Next Gen Men Program Manager Jonathon Reed as part of Learnings & Unlearnings, a weekly newsletter reflecting on our experiences working with boys and young men. Subscribe to get Learnings & Unlearnings delivered to your email inbox.