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We do young people a disservice by operating under the assumption that a list of warning signs or an affirmative acronym will be enough to help them effectively communicate within healthy relationships. Instead, we need to engage boys in open and honest conversation about what is difficult, challenging or confusing for them with regard to consent—beyond just stop signs.
Read MoreThanks to #MeToo, the heightened awareness and expressions of support for these changes increases their relevance and impact. These actions also offer men ways to respond to #MeToo and to be more respectful and nonviolent toward women. Even if there is never another #MeToo tweet, now is the time for individual men and profeminist men’s organizations to step forward and work to achieve real, lasting change.
Read MoreWhat’s the problem with patriarchal ideas about masculinity and exclusionary ideas about who belongs in hockey? In short, these attitudes shape what kind of behaviour we see on and off the ice, who is upheld as role models, what kind of conduct is excused or overlooked (and from whom), and why there is so much fear about speaking out against abuse.
Read MoreWhile the internet trolls and truth tellers readied their ammo and picked their sides, I was left to wonder which was worse: setting aside the ugly facts of a real episode in this late man’s life, long enough to mourn it, or setting aside the man himself, despite the real-life regret, empathy and rebuilding that we saw from him, in word and deed.
Read MoreI think it’s a missed opportunity to skirt around the sexual assault case when talking about Kobe with adolescent boys, because it creates a space to challenge the Trump-era notion of a ‘witch hunt’ against men, and it allows boys to reflect on making mistakes and making amends.
Read MoreI have a number of relevant statistics memorized and use them in different ways when engaging the boys in reflection on how misogyny affects our society. Over the last few weeks, however, I’ve come across some new facts.
Read MoreA stark example to me that men are the dominant sex is in literature. Women read books by men, about men, but it is few and far between that I see men reading books by women, about women. In an effort to educate myself, I’m reading Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist in which she highlights this in one of her essays.
Read More*ALWAYS seek consent. But what I mean to say, in the wake of the Aziz Ansari story, is that it’s time for men and women to work together towards a new definition of consent. Let’s call the old version of ‘no means no’ the bare minimum, and the new version of ‘are you enjoying yourself?’ to be best practices.
Read MoreMissing words? Nah, I don’t miss them. Over the years I’ve removed words from my vocabulary with intention. I’ve never used ‘fag’ or ‘faggot’ so that was easy. I’m not exactly sure when, but ‘retard’ left too—somehow it’s more satisfying just to call someone stupid or an idiot anyways. The word that shocked me the most was ‘rape.’
Read MoreA comprehensive, public health approach to rape prevention could include a focus on bystander education and training, might identify factors in the physical design and the rules and policies of the spaces and institutions where we live, study, work, and play, and should definitely engage boys and men.
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