NGM Thoughts 08: Who Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?
A friend asked me the other night: “If you could have anyone’s speaker fees paid for and they were available, who would you want to listen to?” I immediately responded—Barack Obama! She was a bit surprised and asked me why. I explained to her that doing the work that I do, it can be hard to find role models of healthy masculinities at times. Masculinities being plural because of the different identities we possess at different intersections. From what I know of the man he is a good leader, politician, husband, father, friend, and dad-joker.
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NGM Thoughts 07: Stoicism is About a Porch
Friends have heard me harp about this, but I think using the word stoic to describe a man/masculinity is a disservice—not to the man, but rather to the word. To ‘be stoic’ is often tossed around to mean unflinching, unfeeling, unemotional. My understanding of stoicism, however, comes from the study of Seneca, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and other Greco-Roman philosophers known as the stoics.
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As One Next Gen Man Departs, We Welcome Another
Stefan Montalbetti is sadly leaving the Next Gen Men family to chase powder in central British Columbia and continue his journey as an educator and facilitator. We know the struggle he has been having out of both his abiding enthusiasm for NGM’s future as well as his loyalty to all of us.
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NGM Thoughts 06: Exclusive Inclusive Language
We are all in the pursuit of betterment. To be more inclusive. To not make anyone feel left out. Why are we leaving some people out of not leaving others out?
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NGM Thoughts 05: Reading the ‘Other’ Side
A stark example to me that men are the dominant sex is in literature. Women read books by men, about men, but it is few and far between that I see men reading books by women, about women. In an effort to educate myself, I’m reading Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist in which she highlights this in one of her essays.
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NGM Thoughts 04: Don’t Seek Consent,* Seek Pleasure
*ALWAYS seek consent. But what I mean to say, in the wake of the Aziz Ansari story, is that it’s time for men and women to work together towards a new definition of consent. Let’s call the old version of ‘no means no’ the bare minimum, and the new version of ‘are you enjoying yourself?’ to be best practices.
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NGM Thoughts 03: Fare Thee Well Vocabulary
Missing words? Nah, I don’t miss them. Over the years I’ve removed words from my vocabulary with intention. I’ve never used ‘fag’ or ‘faggot’ so that was easy. I’m not exactly sure when, but ‘retard’ left too—somehow it’s more satisfying just to call someone stupid or an idiot anyways. The word that shocked me the most was ‘rape.’
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NGM Thoughts 02: The Texans Got It Right
The other day I screwed up. I addressed a table full of women as ‘you guys’. *facepalm* Kindly, nobody called me out on it. As the activity progressed, I seized a chance to redeem myself. Someone mentioned the impact of language.
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NGM Thoughts 01: Feminism and Your Favourite Sports Team
Happy 2018 to you and yours! This year we are undertaking a personal challenge to share some of our reflections around what it means to be a better man in today’s day and age. As a team, we often have long conversations based on our experiences in our programs, our personal lives, or the latest article, video, or podcast that we’ve taken in.
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This is What it Feels Like Calgary
“You should smile more, you look so beautiful when you smile.” “You want a piece of this? I’m all you need baby.” “Can’t a guy just give you a compliment? You know you like it.” “So you think you’re too good for me? Well then f*ck you b*tch!”
As part of our mission to build better men through youth and peer engagement, education, and empowerment, we want to inspire our peers to stand up, speak out, and help end catcalling, street harassment, and gender-based violence in all its forms.
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10 Tips for Engaging Boys and Young Men
We’re really proud to share some of our learnings and practices from our experiences with the ‘Next Gen Men’ in our youth program, from our team debriefs and planning, and drawing on the knowledge and expertise of other programs and researchers. Presented at the Youth Forum and NGO CSW Forum at the 61st session of the Commission on the Status of Women, these are our 10 Tips for Engaging Boys and Young Men in Gender Equity and Transformative Masculinities!
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Hands Up for Gender Equality!
The 61st Session of the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW61) is coming up next month!
Held at the United Nations in New York City, CSW61 is one of the most important international forums for the United Nations, governments, and NGOs from around the world to come together for advocacy and movement building for gender equality, human rights, and sustainable development.
This year’s Commission will focus on women’s economic empowerment in the changing world of work and the empowerment of Indigenous women.
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